Maria's Story: Motherhood and Resilience

In this deeply moving episode of Unseen Atlanta, Maria tells her story of resilience and strength. As a single mother of six, Maria faced unimaginable hardships, moving from place to place, struggling to provide for her children while keeping hope alive. Through Atlanta Mission’s Restoration House and My Sister’s House, she found not only shelter but a path to healing, self-discovery, and a future full of promise. 

Maria’s story is a powerful testament to the strength of a mother’s love and the importance of breaking generational cycles of homelessness. Join hosts Rachel Reynolds and Jonathan Miller as they walk through Maria’s experience, shedding light on the unseen struggles of families facing homelessness. This episode also features Dr. Jill Pable, an expert in trauma-informed design, who provides critical insights into how spaces can foster healing and stability for mothers and children. 

Transcript

Maria_Full Episode 
 

Maria: The fact that I had six little faces, five little faces, three little faces staring back at me at each and every step of the way, and I never was the type to run and chase after their fathers. They knew their options, they knew their choices. They chose to walk away, and they never told my children that. 

Maria: So I never once put it all on them. I just handled it knowing that I couldn't, I couldn't fail them. I could not, I could not damage these children to the point of, and it was not an option for me.  

Rachel: Welcome to Unseen Atlanta and Atlanta Mission Podcast, where we shine a light on some of the city's toughest issues. 

Rachel: We share true stories from real people who've experienced homelessness and addiction. We're also gonna bring you insights from experts who give us some context to some of these issues. I'm your host, Rachel Reynolds.  

Jonathan: And I'm Jonathan Miller, your co-host. So Rachel, today, we just interviewed. Maria, uh, Maria. 

Jonathan: Yeah. She  

Rachel: is the mother of all mothers. She has six kids  

for sure. Um,  

Rachel: wow.  

Yeah, it, it was such a good story and it really, I, I, yeah. Mother is the word that comes out, you know,  

Rachel: I'm like, there's no other way to describe it other than like, she's a mom  

Jonathan (2): and one of the things that will come out in the story is like. 

Jonathan (2): She always saw herself as a mother. Yeah. But she found out who Maria was.  

Rachel: Yeah. That was really cool because she has spent, she basically became a, became a mom when she was super young. Never really knew who Maria was outside of being a mom. But in the process of discovering Maria, she realized like so much of those mothering tendencies are who she is. 

Rachel: Yeah. And what she loves about herself. So we. I hope you really enjoy and resonate with Maria's story. I think it gives a very different, um, perspective on what homelessness looks like. She talks a lot about just the different types of places that they stayed. I think we think of homelessness as being on the streets, but it's also a lot of different types of housing situations, so we are excited to get into it. 

Rachel: Let's do it. Hey Maria. Hi Rachel. How are you? I'm well. How about yourself? Good, good. I wanna start our conversation today. I want, you have a lot of kids. Yes. So I wanna orient ourselves. Can you tell us names, ages of your kids?  

Maria: Yes. Okay. So at the very top we have Devon. He is my eldest son at 14. Then I have Carmen, she's my eldest daughter at. 

Maria: 13. Then we have jni, we call him Jojo. He's nine big nine. JAMA and Genova are my twins at six, age six, and then we got a little baby Ava. She's three. And we currently have one baking at 19 weeks now. Wow. Yes.  

That's a lot.  

Rachel: That's a lot. Family. I thought I was, I had a lot and I have one. Ah, that is hilarious. 

Rachel: Thanks for sharing that. Thank you. And we wanna talk a little bit about where you're from and your growing up.  

Maria: Okay. Um, originally from Delaware. Um, grew up between Delaware and New York. Moved to Georgia when I was fairly young about elementary school, um, and quickly went into middle school. Grew up the rest of the way here in Georgia. 

Maria: I've been in Georgia longer than I have not. So this is home for you? Yes, for sure. So what was your childhood like? It was a childhood, it was a, um, very fast childhood. Um, we had struggles, so it, it went pretty quick. Um, I remember one, one year I got a easy bake oven for Christmas and we went through a situation where we lost a house and my easy bake oven and it was very, yeah, sentimental. 

Maria: So the first chance I could, I got my daughter her own Easy Bake oven. Oh yes. I loved my Easy Bake parents sleep through them. Yes. It was interesting. We moved around a lot. So I did get to see different areas and I did appreciate that as an adult. I do appreciate that. Were you with both your parents or No. 

Maria: Okay. It was just my mother. She wasn't ever really alone as far as like a single mother. We lived with my grandmother for a minute in New York and from there my sister. His godfather, which was like my mother's father, like a second grandfather to us. Um, moved around with us as well, brought us here to Georgia. 

Maria: 'cause he was originally from Georgia. So he moved us out here, um, and continued to help raise us. He taught us a lot. It was my mother, brother, sister, and I. And, uh, yeah, that was, that was us.  

Rachel: So you mentioned before we started recording, we talked about you have a lot of kids. Yes. So when did you start having your kids? 

Maria: My first one was maybe about 19, 20. I was pregnant in high school, my 12th grade year of high school. Uh, so I walked down the graduation looking like a blueberry. Were you wearing a blue dress? Yes, it was a blue. Um, what's the, like tapping gown? Yes. Okay. And, um, I like blueberries. Right. I felt like the girl from Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory,  

were they a roller now? 

Maria: Yes.  

Rachel: Look like her too. And were you, was it like, were you like surprised when you found out you were pregnant?  

Maria: Yes and no. I was still fairly young living with my parents. Um, my boyfriend and I, at the time, we were together, we were, you know, we know what it takes to make a child. So when it did happen, it wasn't like. 

Maria: Scary excitement. It was like, okay, we're about to have a baby. My father said, congratulations. My mother was mad. But um, yeah, it was exciting.  

Rachel: So how was that having a baby at 1920? Were you living with your favorite? Family at the time?  

Maria: Yes. Okay. Um, and I've always wanted to be a mother. Unfortunately, my childhood, I looked at like, what not to do as a parent. 

Maria: So when I had my own kids, I was like, okay, boom. I'm gonna love this child. I'm gonna raise this child. I'm gonna know what to do. I felt like I was young enough to where I could still relate to my child. And remember, like I said, a lot of what I felt like as a child. Mm-hmm. Like what caused that? So when I had my first child, a boy, he was, he was my world. 

Maria: He, I felt like I babysat a lot too. Um, so I kind of was familiar with children. Then when did you have your second, uh, 11 months after that. Oh, you wasted no  

time?  

Maria: Apparently not. So, um, yeah, she came right. And I found out because I was breastfeeding. Okay. And my sons. Stopped wanting the breast and then menstruation did not start. 

Maria: So I'm thinking it's 'cause of the breastfeeding that, you know, I Googled it until I found what I needed to hear. And, um, it took me about four or five months before I realized I was pregnant again. And yeah. So they're my Irish twins. Wow. So they're really close in age. Yes. 11 months. And then you had your twins after them? 

Maria: No, I had my jojo. Okay. My son, my second son, and he was my heart. He is, he still is. He's my, he's my little jojo. He, um. His pregnancy and everything was fine. It was just his father kind of stepped away and made me kind of step up more. Then he tried to come back and then he left again. So I really felt for him because he remembered a lot and then like I just had to kind of keep him close and he's a little pip squeak my little baby. 

So  

Maria: you were a single mom during this time? Pretty much the whole time? Yes. What was that like? Hmm, that's a good question. It was what made me who I am today. Okay. Um, and they teach us not to be that strong person. It's okay to not be that strong person, but I was that strong woman mother. Everything that I could be, and it was just life lessons, honestly. 

Maria: So were you the one that was supporting all the kids essentially mentally, physically, emotionally, yes. Financially, all of it. Yeah. So  

you were working?  

Maria: I was working, yes. Especially a lot in the beginning at a lot of energy.  

They kept me  

Maria: on my period. Yes. They kept me on my toes and I was working full-time job. 

Maria: I was a stay-at-home mother for about a year after I had jni my third child, and, um, went to work and. Was in there when everything went smooth. Daycare, childcare, when everybody was, you know, doing what they had to do. It was nice. It was very, we had time for the outings. Every Thanksgiving we was at the pumpkin patches and the holidays were great. 

Maria: Easter egg hunts, all of it. Um, it was smooth. It was nice. So how'd you end up here? That's a good question. And when I look back at it, it, it just kind of crumbled and it took a minute. We left from Georgia, my boyfriend and I at the time. This was after I had jni. We went to Louisiana. Um, that relationship fell apart in Louisiana. 

Maria: I moved from Louisiana, tried to go back up to Delaware, lived in North Carolina for a minute. Came back to Georgia. My mother. I and my brother moved into a trailer. It's a very nice neighborhood, not as in trailer park, you'd think the first thing that comes to mind, but it was very nice. Um, three bedroom. 

Maria: I had the master bedroom with me and my three kids at the time. Um, my mother, brother had their own, and things were going smooth. Everybody was paying their rent and it was fine. My oldest sister got into a situation and we had to kind of go rescue her from North Carolina. So her and her three kids moved in. 

Maria: Um, I had just had the twins, so now I'm up to five kids. We were in the master bedroom. Um, I had a set of bunk beds. The girls had their own bed 'cause they slept together for the longest. Inseparable. Then there was, I. So then my sister and her three kids, so now we have eight kids, plus three adults in this three bedroom. 

Maria: They didn't wanna renew the lease, so we had to go, this was at the beginning of Covid, during Covid. All of that laid out for a little bit. Um, and then they offered us a resolution to get out of the home. So we took that and that's pretty much where all the, the homelessness started. It was a struggle from there. 

Maria: One, trying to find another place. So I had lost my job. I found out I was pregnant again with my six child, Ava. Um, and then the father and I had broke up. We had split. He couldn't handle what was going on. I had a lot going on. Um, so then. Yeah, my family and I kind of went our separate ways. We started with the motels with the extended stays, so you and your kids are. 

Maria: Bopping around to different hotels, pretty much. Whew. Yeah. Friends. Um, I stayed with a friend for about a month and a half. She had about four kids, plus my five plus. Just found out I was pregnant. Um, and she was amazing. She did what she could. Her and her family, they moved to South Carolina, which, um, of course I had to go from there. 

Maria: Did you ever not have a place to stay? Yes. And where, where'd you stay? When we had those moments? Uh, one summer we did camping on mountain park. Um, it was one of the cheapest options. I had actually got a job there that fell through in the midst of trying to live there and work there and things like that. 

Maria: I had cars, so we would spend the night in cars. I had one of my kids', father did put us up in his home for a while, which was very stressful. He had another family. Um, which kind of clashed and me being younger and. Like very emotional in a sense. There was a lot of head trauma that went with that as well. 

Maria: Emotional, slight physical and things like that, that, um, kind of kept me there and pushed me away at the same time. So it was very disturbing. I started back working. I did, and that was what helped me. Continue with the motel stays. Uh, we did live in another shelter at one point as well for about three and a half months. 

Maria: And yeah, honestly, sometimes when I look back, I'm really still trying to figure out how, and it was nothing but God's grace and God's hand on our whole family covering us because strangers. Strangers helped strangers, paid for my room, strangers outta nowhere, gave us food and just everything and anything through the grace of all of that is how we survived. 

Maria: Yeah. What kept you going? The fact that I had six little faces, five little faces, three little faces staring back at me at each and every. Step of the way. And I never was the type to run and chase after their fathers. They knew their options, they knew their choices. They chose to walk away. And I never told my children that I was never the type, my mother did that to us when we were young about my father. 

Maria: So, and I remember how it felt. Mm-hmm. So I never once put it all on them. I just handled it. I just, we gotta eat today. We gotta, we had days where we fasted and yeah, we just, just. Knowing that I couldn't, I couldn't fail them. I could not, I could not damage these children to the point of, and it was not an option for me. 

Maria: And they can, they went to school. They went. They went, they went as much as we could. The schools helped as much as they could without knowing too much, honestly, couldn't tell them everything.  

How did you find Restoration House?  

Maria: Um, it was that time again. We was at our wits end looking for shelters. I went back to the one that we were at, um, previously, and there was a waiting list. 

Maria: She remembered us. She remembered, my family and I, they were full at the moment, but she referred me to my sister's house. I went there and then they let me know that, oh, you gotta start at restoration house. So I was like, okay. Boom. And there was this lady who I just the other day, been through this process now going on three months from restoration to my sister's house. 

Maria: And just literally, if not yesterday, the day before, ran back into this woman. When I pulled into my sister's house, she was the one that guided me to restoration house. Like, no, you gotta start there. Just go down the street, make a left, da da, all of that. And. The whole time I've been there. Never once have I seen her again. 

Maria: Right. So then, um, go to restoration house. It took us about three days before we got in. My car died as soon as I got there. When I say die, it wouldn't start. Wow. The transmission went on it first, it was the starter, so it wasn't starting clunked out right in front. So we slept out front, um, for about two, three days. 

Maria: Um, got in. It's crazy, and I've been on this journey at Restoration House, my sister's house since, like I said, about three months now. Yeah.  

Rachel: What was it like when you first. Walk, like got in.  

Maria: Mm. It was joyful, tearful, was it? Mm-hmm. It was a lot of emotions. Yeah. And I was both terrified at the same time as well, because there are certain qualifications to get in, so I'm like, what if they don't believe me? 

Maria: Or what if, yeah, I'm not qualified, so I'm holding my breath the whole time. They're doing the intake process and when they told us they had a bed. Uh, my son had an attitude, and I don't know why he had an attitude, but I'm like, do you not realize what like this means? And just emotions? And I had just found out I was pregnant again at that time, like around that same time. 

Maria: So those emotions may have been part of it, but I know for a fact like it hit. Deep. It was like a weight off of my shoulders and I knew it was just the beginning. I didn't know what all it entailed, but yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, they didn't judge either. It had been a couple of days before I had taken a shower, so I go out to the car, I change, I come back in and it was just so peaceful and I remember it being cool. 

Maria: 'cause this is the summer, so it's like 90 degrees outside. And we're just sitting there in our own little space, and the kids being kids running around, they see the other kids and just a breath of fresh air. Yeah. Yeah. What was that first night like? It went by kind of quick. I think I slept really nice. 

Maria: We went in, they got us a room, we did our little tour, um, had dinner. The kids, they were ecstatic. They, yeah. Oh yeah. Right. Um, took our showers and laid down. We were the only ones in our room that night, if I'm not mistaken, for that first night. And I bet that was nice. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. The air conditioner, just the soft bed. 

Maria: Just being able to stretch out. Mm-hmm. I'm in the front seat of the car. It's not much room. Yeah. But just to stretch my legs out and honestly take the clothes off. That was the best part. Yes. I can, like, as you're saying it, I can  

Rachel: like feel it, right? The relief. Yeah, the relief. Like I feel like you were probably holding your breath for so long. 

Rachel: As you were going to different motels Yes. And trying to figure out where you're gonna stay and  

just holding it all together for  

Rachel: your kids. Yeah. Holding it all together for your kids. That's some, that's a lot. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot. You have some, an amazing resiliency. Thank you. Yeah. So tell us, how was your time at Restoration House and how did your, how are your kids adjusting? 

Maria: Right. Okay.  

Rachel: So they, because I know you were very concerned, I'm sure.  

Maria: Yes. They adjusted fairly well, honestly, because at this point they're not in school, so it's a bunch of free time. The hardest part was keeping them. Wrangled in. Mm-hmm. And not too wild with the other children or, um, 'cause they do want you to keep your kids close to you. 

Maria: 'cause honestly, they're strangers. Yeah, they're mothers, but. We don't know them. Yeah. And my kids are very friendly. They'll tell you our whole life story in a heartbeat. So it was like trying to keep them close and also let them have their breath of fresh air as well. There was a playground, um, in the back, so we definitely spent a lot of time out there. 

Maria: Mm-hmm. My son throwing the football. Him and I, and honestly, we didn't go out the front doors too much. We were free to come and go as we pleased there was, um, curfews in place, but. I think I went through a little moment where I was kind of afraid to go outside. Yeah. Uh, and I talked about this further along in, um, our classes and things that my sister's house offers, but it was legit, like I didn't, I didn't know what to do. 

Maria: Like at this point I'm like, I don't wanna get stuck outside. I didn't, I didn't wanna have to sit outside like it was, it was a moment, three meals a day, plus the stack. So there was never a time where they were, what are we going to eat? Which was once again, another weight off my shoulders. Yeah, you don't have to  

think about that. 

Maria: No. They washed our clothes, the bedsheets, the bed, and like our actual laundry. And when they call it restoration house, it was our time of rest. And in the same sense, I'm trying to figure out, it's still really like on cloud nine for me, so I'm waiting for, unfortunately my mindset. I was waiting for it, so, okay, you gotta go. 

Maria: Yeah. Okay. Bye. And no. And keeping the kids close, I had to let them know though, that we do get infractions is what they call it. Like if the kids are out and about. Yeah. And I'm nowhere to be found or. Something to that effect. If they're outside and I'm not. So I did have to let them know as well, like, Hey, be close. 

Maria: And I had to let them know, like, listen, and we here, you're like, we gotta get this, we gotta make this work. Yes. It's a team effort. It's team effort. They've always been aware of the team spirit. Yeah. But especially had to let them know at that time. And they were very, those are my troopers, honestly. Yeah. 

Rachel: Well,  

Maria: you did  

Rachel: them, you did a really courageous thing, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Getting the place where they were safe. So you made the decision to go to my sister's house? Mm-hmm. Yes.  

Maria: Based off of my track came in. I spoke to, I had an advocate when I first got there, um, around all of this as well. I just lost my mother, um, who can. 

Maria: I am not gonna say contributed to any of it. Yeah. But mentally and apparently I didn't really grieve, I didn't know how to grieve. I, I lost her and I accepted the fact that I lost her. My father's been gone now about 12, 13 years, and I accepted that. So it was like, it was really just them and I didn't have anyone to call to, you know, even just let them know, Hey, we're inside. 

Maria: We're not outside anymore. Like any of that. So it was really just us in that situation going to. My sister's house shortly after school had started. Um, and I appreciate the school system as well. They usually drop them off last, pick them up first, so it's not like a whole big thing. The rest of the kids know that, hey, y'all are coming from a shelter, which was very important. 

Maria: I growing up was in motels and the school bus would come and pick us up from the motels and like, yeah, kids can be a little, it was embarrassing wasn't it? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, we had a room for our head, but yes. Um, so the, the schools are very aware of that and they've set the bus routes up, so it's like that. 

Maria: And coming over to my sister's house, it's definitely a lot more of a family atmosphere. Yeah. I do keep them close still. I don't let them. Pretty much run off, or even the fact that it's the same students that they go to school with. Mm-hmm. I'm like, okay, yeah. But now we're at home, like it's not playtime all the time. 

Maria: Mm-hmm.  

Yeah.  

Maria: And they we're still working on that  

Rachel: part.  

Right.  

Rachel: So are your kids and. Are any, are the girls in the child development center?  

Maria: My, um, Ava is Okay. Yes, she's three. Um, and she is in the, uh, child development in the daycare. We call it school too. School. Oh, yeah. I, I mean, school. My son goes to school. 

Maria: Yeah. Even though it's  

Rachel: not  

Maria: school, right. It is for him. Exactly.  

How has that been? Yeah.  

Maria: It's been great. I love her teacher. Her teacher loves her. Like it's very, I love it. And she has learned so much. She was just the teacher the other day for her class. Aw. And they sent me videos of her reading the book to the class, and her story was amazing. 

Maria: It's hilarious. But, um, and they do send pictures. They'll, um, update us on like what they've eat, eaten for lunch. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll get, um, random photos. That's my favorite part. So has your time at my sister's house been. Good. Yes. And I could say that now, if y'all had caught me about two months ago, you know, maybe a little bit more energy, but I went through my ups and downs. 

Maria: Yeah. When I first got there, of course my faith wavered a little bit, my trust in the program and you know, the classes and I was really kind of ready to, where's the work? Where can I, I have a place over my head, when can I start working? Or just everything other than dealing with. Right what I had to deal with. 

Maria: You were in like survival mode of like, how am I gonna make this work for so long? I'm the provider. Yes, it has definitely, there's nothing negative I can say at this point when, like I said, about a couple of months ago, I could have been like, you know, I don't, what's the point? I don't see the silver lining anymore. 

Maria: But through the classes, through my advocates, through my counselors, they've all. Coached me, spoke to me, uplifted, and even the other women. That's the best part 'cause it's very much.  

Rachel: It's a sisterhood.  

Maria: Yes. Great. And like there's one girl specifically who she'll pray at the beginning of the classes and close us out in prayer and she's become like our prayer worrier. 

Maria: And it's amazing to hear her pray out loud. It's something I'm still working on and it just like brings the whole thing together and everybody's. Clapping and they'll, you know, great. And we had a talent show and everybody sung and, you know, you're so great. Like, it was just very, very much uplifting.  

So I wanted to go back a little bit. 

You mentioned when you first got to my sister's house, like you just wanted to get to work, right? Yeah. Yeah. You wanted to like do the thing. Mm-hmm. You know, and, um, the challenge is. No. Right. We need to work on you.  

Maria: Yes.  

Um, so can you talk to, you, talk to us a little bit about the struggle? Yeah. And then after going through it. 

Was it worth it?  

Maria: Yes. Okay. So the part with the work, work, work was the money. Like I haven't, I don't receive child support. I don't have any other income at the moment, so it's literally like my bank account is at zero. Um, so it's just like. It's not even needs. 'cause everything is provided as far as needs, as far as clothes, uh, soap, uh, sanitary napkins, toilet paper, anything. 

Maria: Every toothpaste, toothbrushes. My kids have everything they need. That was the hardest part. But, um, when they say rest and be still, and God's telling me to be still, I had to understand that. And they taught us that even resting is doing something. Mm-hmm. Like it takes a lot to be able to do that. And when I understood it like that, I'm like. 

Maria: You're right. It definitely helped me calm down and that anxiety and even getting to know me and seeing where, what, and honestly things I didn't even understand about me is the most rewarding of the whole situation. So it's like, yeah, I still got that work mentality in me, but it's like I understand the calm and the, the process at this point, it's to come and they keep saying that it's to come and it is just gotta stay strong. 

Rachel: You've made it this far into the episode, you're likely feeling the weight of these stories unseen. Atlanta was created to reveal the raw and unfiltered realities faced by individuals in our city struggles with addiction, homelessness, and mental health. It is heavy, but don't stop. Now we're about to turn the page to something. 

Rachel: Life changing. Hope is coming. When someone steps through our doors, they step into an opportunity to start fresh. The transformation you're about to hear wouldn't be possible without our incredible partners like the Justin Landis group. Whether you're buying or selling your home in metro Atlanta, their unwavering commitment to exceptional service and authentic relationships sets them apart. 

Rachel: Their compassion and dedication to our community fuels stories just like these. A heartfelt thank you to our partner and sponsor, Justin Landis Group, because of your generosity, these stories don't end here. Now let's dive back into the episode. Basically, you were a kid when you started having kids. Aw. 

Rachel: So you never got to like experience, you started having them when you were young. Yeah. And so is, is it, has it been hard to like. Get to know yourself.  

Maria: Honestly, I don't think so. Even me as a mother, as a being a mother, so young and so, so for so long, honestly, 14 years now, I've been a mother. I feel like, one, I understood that that's what I was supposed to do. 

Maria: God says, be fruitful, multiply, and I understood that. It took that wholeheartedly. If I'm not anything else, I know I'm a mother. But even more so and honestly, my sister's house is helping me understand that more than a mother, I'm Maria, and to find out who Maria is, was and is going to be. Is great for me because I, she may have gotten a little lost somewhere in there. 

Maria: Yeah. But we're finding her. Well, she had to get lost. I mean, yeah.  

Well, um, I'm really curious. Who is Maria?  

Maria: Oh, snap. Okay. Yes. Go. You have to tell us now. I am unapologetically me. I'm strong. Without being weak in my strength, I understand that I do have flaws. I'm a little rough and tough around the edges. 

Maria: I'm very friendly and I am very strong hearted. I know I'm a go-getter when that job time comes and more so than just a job. Want a career. Yeah, girl. First of all, at this point. From our mouth to God's ears. Amen. Mm-hmm. Yes. Uh, and I'm still learning me, so if it's a little short, then yeah, that's fine. But I am who I am and every day it's a new, a new chapter. 

Maria: It's a new learning process for me, and they teach us to be able to sit with ourselves. Hmm. And honestly, I get about an hour in my day before I have to get them kids. Right. But I take that hour. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. Period. And I'm use utilizing it, using it, and uh, enjoying it for the most part. I love that. 

Maria: Thank you. So what do you, what does the future look like for you and your kids? I kind of paused at that a little bit 'cause I don't wanna ruin the surprise. Yeah. But I do see plenty smiles. I see the uphill from here. Yeah.  

So as you, as you look back at your story that you just shared with us, often when we're in situations where we're bouncing around homelessness, you're going from motel to motel, couch to couch. 

Yeah. Um, you don't feel seen. Mm. Right. Could you share with us what it's like to be on scene?  

Maria: That is a good one. I've honestly had to leave a, a few people behind that. I tried my hardest and in the whole process, it really shows you who's in your corner. Um, it shows you who's really for you, and that was one of the, at one point, one of the hardest. 

Maria: Now it's very. Relieving to be able to just leave it alone, leave them alone, and just keep moving. And that hurt the most though, being unseen by the ones that were closest to you? I don't know. It find, it really made me feel like small. Mm-hmm. And I didn't see it in the moment. Coming here to a restoration house, to my sister's house and really having to deal with it and having all of our needs met, it really showed me like. 

Maria: Yeah, it was, it was very eye-opening. Family as well. Family knew our situation, um, and just chose 'cause it was their choice, so. Okay. Well I'll talk to you later. Oh, okay. Well, bye. I got some kind of nasty reports as well. My sister and I are two different people. Uh, my brother and I are two different people. 

Maria: All of us are different, but. They kind of wrote us off and I felt, so after my father died, that side of the family kind of faded off. My mother passed away, and I, they didn't get the reaction they wanted outta me. I didn't fall apart. I didn't, I still had my kids to take care of. I'm still sleeping in the car. 

Maria: My mother didn't really help when she was alive with that. She was in the same boat we were. So it was like, I didn't fall apart when that happened. And I don't know, it pushed people. Further away. So it really left us out there. Yeah. And I just had to keep going.  

Well, it sounds like you, in a way, at Atlanta Mission, you found a new family,  

Maria: amen. 

Maria: Yes.  

And you are seen and known and loved. So thank you for sharing your story,  

Rachel: and I, it sounds like you break the cycle here with your kids.  

Maria: Amen. That, that, that, that the chains are breaking constantly. There may be a couple more up in there, but they are breaking and I still got a few, I still got some time with the program. 

Maria: Thank you. Go and yeah. Every day, every week. But this's here. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.  

Rachel: Like your kids. It's gonna end here  

in the name of Jesus we're calling it. Yes. No,  

Rachel: we are. I got chills. Yes. Yes. 'cause you're, what you did for them is so it's the best thing you could ever do for them. As a mom, you're saying, Hey, we're not doing this anymore. 

Rachel: Right. And I'm giving you a different life. So that's the best thing you could ever do. Yes. You should feel really proud of yourself. Thank  

you.  

Rachel: They're gonna be really  

Maria: proud of you and having them through this journey with me. That's part of the reason there's a few women in there that don't have their children with them, but in having them with me here, I'm hoping that they see that as well. 

Maria: Yeah.  

Rachel: Well, and it helps you. Yes. You know, you have to have that. You have to have something to keep you going and so it's only gonna help you and help them.  

Maria: Yes.  

Rachel: So I think, yeah, I hope for your kids that they think about these times as. Great times. Yeah. And, but they, you know what? That they never walk through those doors again. 

Rachel: Right. So I don't ever wanna see him again, because I'll probably still be here in like 10 years. So, but I, we so appreciate you sharing your story. I thank you. Think your story will resonate with so many people. Just, it's like the power of a mother. It's like it, but I, I think that's what I really saw throughout your story is just like you wanted to be a mom. 

Rachel: That is what drove you and your kids are really what has driven you to say, no, this stops here. Yes, this may have been how my life was. This may have been how our life was for the last 10 years, but it's not, not, we're not doing this anymore. So I think that there's so much power in that and there's so much power in breaking the cycle. 

Mm-hmm.  

Rachel: Um, it's hard. Yeah. It's the hardest thing you can ever do is break the cycle  

Maria: in Atlanta Missions my sister's house. They provide everything you need to do that  

ending, uh, generational cycles. Yeah. You know, like, that's such a huge and powerful thing.  

Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Your story is what, when, um, you know, we set out. 

Rachel: To do something like Atlanta Missionary Restoration House, the goal is not to have to perpetuate the cycle of homelessness. It's not just to give someone a place to stay. Right. And, um, then we see them come back two years from now. It's really to break that cycle. Yes. This ends here. That's beautiful. We hope you enjoyed that story. 

Rachel: I know. It was so powerful. They all are powerful, so it's, it's hard for me to, to pick one out, but I think it really just showed how important it's to have safe spaces for people when they walk into our doors. And not only safe spaces for them, but spaces where they feel welcomed, they feel accepted, they feel like it's home for them  

and And their children. 

Rachel: Yeah. And their children. So. Today we have with us Dr. Jill Pable. She is a special guest that we have, we talked a lot about on this, this episode Restoration House. She was a part of, not only building restoration house, but the whole planning process behind it because she is a specializes in trauma-informed design. 

Rachel: So welcome Dr. Pable. We're so happy to have you.  

Jill: Thank you. I love being here with you today.  

Rachel: Please tell us a little bit about you and what you do.  

Jill: Yeah. Uh, my background is research. I'm a researcher and educator primarily in interior design, also in architecture, as that touches to the issue as well. I am a professor emeritus with Florida State University, having just recently retired and I was engaged in research, uh, with regard to homelessness and design. 

Jill: For approximately 20 years. As a part of that, I also created a nonprofit called Design Resources for Homelessness, which exists to curate research and offer practical ways for its application in homeless shelters, day centers, and other spaces for people in crisis, which is available free of charge for anybody to, uh, take a look at. 

Rachel: Well, we just heard a story about Maria, a mom coming in with her kids, and she talked a lot about walking into the space and feeling safe. She talked a lot about just the experience. Can, I know you've done a lot of research about what it's like to be a parent in that environment, so can you talk a little bit to that? 

Jill: Yes. Um, there is a great deal to be aware of in the case of clients with children. Um, it really changes the list of priorities greatly because as you might imagine, a parent is first and foremost concerned about the safety and happiness of their children. So when they're brought into a, a communal sort of space. 

Jill: Like that. They're going to be overwhelmingly not only concerned about their children, but distracted for their children. So what that means is there's a number of things we need to do in those cases. First of all, we need to make how you enter a building and navigate through a building just as intuitive as possible because that parent is not gonna have much of what we call bandwidth. 

Jill: They don't have a lot of attention span. I. Apart from making sure their kids are managed in order to understand where to go, how to fill out a form, how to, to manage the, the, uh, bedroom that they live in and so forth. So, as simple and intuitive as possible is best. Another thing too is that a parent is going to be overriding the concerned about the safety of their children, and which means they're gonna want to have their children nearby. 

Jill: In fact, they want to have their children nearby so that they can have a moment just to relax and not have to worry about where their children are. Um, a number of years ago I conducted a research study in a supportive housing community where, um, female parents and two children were living in a nine by 12, uh, room, and we changed out the door. 

Jill: So that it was a Dutch door where the top could open and the bottom could stay shut. And amongst other types of improvements to the room, we found that that Dutch door helped that parent so much 'cause she could finally sit down on the, the bed, relax for just a moment, and know that her two young children are not gonna wander off. 

Jill: And yet she still had some connection with neighbors outside and so forth. Other things we added to the room too were unexpectedly put to use, for example, a a full length mirror. I. The children started using for dress up and for imaginary play, and a marker board that we put on the wall they started using for their artwork and, and using it to learn words and so forth. 

Jill: So it's amazing, uh, how children will adapt and use spaces if you make the setting available for them, such as a, a shelf to put their stuffed animals on or other types of things, allowing a parent to post a, a photo of their children. To kind of claim the space. All of those things are very small and inexpensive, but they can help a parent achieve a sense of, of more calm. 

Jill: And that's what our, my research study actually found. All of the, these improvements we made to the room actually made them feel less crowded and less stressed, which were really important to her.  

Rachel: Yeah, so it didn't actually physically change the space? No. Make it bigger. It just added some things to it. 

Rachel: So yeah, when you're designing a space. Particularly something like a homeless shelter, you're having to design it for kids and adults. Mm-hmm. Like how does that complicate it? Make it more challenging? I.  

Jill: It does, um, especially if there are adult groups that need to be kept separately from children. Mm. For example, sometimes, um, the men's suite needs to be kept separate from the, uh, female and or children suite. 

Jill: Another group that's often forgotten is that there will be male parents that come in with children. How are we going to manage that? Another tragic thing is that. We haven't had enough space in the past where we've had to split up families where the husband would go live in the men's area and the, uh, wife and the children would go to the other area, and we're not doing anybody any favors to split up a family group like that. 

Jill: So one thing that's important for us to include is also family quarters to avoid, you know, splitting up a a, a nuclear family like that is not helping anybody.  

Rachel: Yeah, that's so,  

Jill: yeah.  

Rachel: So interesting. So tell us a little bit about, for a, for a kid, what's gonna be really important for them to have in a space? 

Rachel: Because I know we designed the kids area at Restoration House, it's so great. Mm-hmm. Um, so kind of what went into that,  

Jill: I, I guess one way I would put it is, um, intentional. Um. Visual distractions. You know, children are coming in in a state of stress with their parents and they're, they're understanding that stress from their parents. 

Jill: They need to have cues in their built environment that show them not only people are thinking about them and, you know, caring for them, but give them visual excitement and visual interest. You know, obviously an interior play area is one such cue or an exterior play area. We also need to think carefully about. 

Jill: How we even enclose exterior play areas with fences. We can't have fences that have openings to the outside, so we need to have vinyl inserts to those fences to keep parents from feeling that their, their children are being spied on. So there are visual things that we can do. That can lessen the sense of concern from parents and also make children happier too. 

Jill: So that sense of intentional visual distraction is really important. Things such as, um, say an audio visual area for teenagers and different sorts of areas for younger children become very, very important so that they can just kind of set up a new sense of schedule. Children are so positively influenced by predictable schedule and parents are going to be very interested. 

Jill: Setting up that schedule for their children just so that they're happier. Yeah.  

So, Dr. Papal, um, as we wrap up, I would love for our listeners to get an opportunity to learn more about trauma-informed design. The work that you've been doing well, they're  

Rachel: gonna wanna be your best friend, first of all, all. 

Rachel: Yeah. 

Rachel: So apart from them coming to your house and being your best friend.  

Can you share where people can find you? Yeah. Your, your organization, how they can be involved. Where can they, they learn more about this work?  

Jill: Yeah, I sure can. Um, if you go to the website, design resources for homelessness.org, uh, what you'll find there is a treasure trove of research summaries. 

Jill: Case studies of other successful shelters and day centers and so forth. Um, you'll find all kinds of small tips on, on what you can do either inexpensively or if you have a larger budget. There are all kinds of things. There are spotlight reports on how to design for specific groups such as victims of domestic violence, families, seniors. 

Jill: Adolescents and also to come. I'm currently working on a project right now called the Co Shelter Project, which is creating, uh, a hypothetical shelter that would manage people that come in with their animals. It's a terrible problem when people will not come into a shelter because they know their animals are not accepted. 

Jill: So I'm learning a lot from my veterinary co-researcher about the psychology of a chihuahua. Or, you know, what a lizard needs or, you know, how can, how can cats be, you know, kept separate from dogs in order to keep everybody happy. So, uh, that's yet another aspect we need to explore more. So you're not really retired, is what I'm hearing. 

Jill: Not really. Yeah. But it's okay.  

Rachel: Well, I mean, the work you're doing is so inspiring and I think that. I love that you're making your work accessible, so you're making it accessible to, to organizations that they may not have a lot of resources, but they can do something. Mm-hmm. So I think that's what strikes me with, with what you're talking about, is the work you're doing can be done by anyone. 

Rachel: So thank you. Yeah. I'm  

Jill: really driven to get this information in the hands of people that can Yeah. Help others with it. It's, it's there to be used. We just have to get it to where it needs to go. Right.  

Rachel: Well, and I think that's, you know, part of our call to action too, even for our listeners, is that I hope that they hear this in our inspired, even in their own communities, places that they know where you can start implementing some of this. 

Rachel: It just infuses that humanity back into some of these issues. So thank you so much for your time. Thank you. We're really grateful for you. Yeah. Grateful for the work you're doing. Thank you for your work as well. Yes. I really enjoyed talking to you. Yes, you too. We'll see you next time. That gave me so much insight into what it's like being a mom with your kids walking into a homeless shelter, and how you're having to really think about not only what the moms experience, but what the kids are experiencing. 

Rachel: So we hope you enjoyed that conversation with Dr. Jill Pable. We hope you follow her. She, even though she's in retirement, she's still doing so much amazing work, so. We hope you enjoyed the episode, and we will see you next time.  

Tensley: Thank you so much for listening and engaging with these challenging yet vital conversations about mental health, addiction, homelessness, and trauma in our city. 

Tensley: Facing these issues head on is how we ignite real transformation in Atlanta. Thank you to our season sponsor, the Scott Pryor Law Group. The transformation you've heard wouldn't be possible without incredible partners like the Scott Pryor Law Group, personal Injury and Accident attorneys, their compassion and dedication to our community. 

Tensley: Fuel stories of transformation just like these. If you are injured in a semi-truck or car accident, call the Scott Pryor Law Group. As a US Marine, we fight and win for you. Our clients are family for life. We handle all types of injuries. You focus on healing and we handle the rest. Now, if today's episode inspired you to take the next step, we would love to invite you to join the work that God is doing here. 

Tensley: There are two really impactful ways for you to get involved. First, you can give financially to help us continue the work you heard about today. Second, you can volunteer your time by serving at one of our campuses. You can find all the ways to give and get involved@atlantamission.org. Thank you again for being part of this journey. 

Tensley: Please join us next time as we uncover more powerful stories of hope and transformation.