Sherri’s Story: When Survival Means Sacrifice (Part One)

What happens when survival means making the hardest decision a mother can face? 

In this emotional first part of Sherri’s story, she opens up about her journey through childhood trauma, domestic violence, addiction, and the moment she chose to give custody of her children to her parents – not out of abandonment, but out of love. 

Sherri shares the harrowing reality of abuse, including a near-death assault that changed her life forever. Her story shines a light on the deep connection between trauma and homelessness, and how cycles of violence and addiction can leave even the strongest among us in crisis. 

This episode is raw, powerful, and essential listening for anyone seeking to understand the hidden struggles behind homelessness, and the strength it takes to survive them. 

Part Two of Sherri’s story – her journey toward healing and hope – drops May 28. 

Content Warning: This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence, assault, abuse, and addiction. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

Sherri: [00:00:00] I was looking for love. I thought I knew my dad loved me 'cause he raised me and my sister, but I felt that he loved my sister a little bit more than he loved me, and I was looking for the love in all the wrong places. Valentine's Day is not my day. Because that was the day that I died. 

Rachel: Welcome to Unseen Atlanta and Atlanta Mission Podcast, where we shine light on some of the city's toughest issues. We're gonna do this by sharing true stories from real people who've experienced homelessness and addiction. We're also gonna bring you subject matter experts who are gonna give us context to these issues. 

I'll be your host, Rachel Reynolds.  

Jonathan: And I'm Jonathan Miller, your other host. For our listeners, I just want to give you guys a heads up. Today's interview was heavy.  

Rachel: Yeah, very  

Jonathan: heavy. Um, it was heavy and. For those of you who might be [00:01:00] sensitive to content that contains domestic violence, addiction, um, abuse, uh, we just wanted to let you guys know that this interview contains all of that. 

Rachel: So I think some of the things with Sherry's story, the timeline gets a little fuzzy. I think I was a little confused. She was a little confused. Um, but I think it's a good reminder for us when somebody has dealt with such intense trauma around abuse and addiction. Timelines are fuzzy. Um, and so I think that, I hope you guys just really can hear her story from her perspective and not get hung up on the timeline. 

So just wanted to let you guys know that before we jump into it,  

Jonathan: Rachel.  

Rachel: Mm-hmm.  

Jonathan: Um, I just wanted to ask why is it important for us to share hard stories? I.  

Rachel: Yeah, I think that's such a good question. And we talk about that a little bit with Sherry of, we talked about life, be lifeing with her because while she is, um, she's living with us now, she's in a, a fairly stable place. 

It doesn't mean life stops. It doesn't mean life gets better. It doesn't mean [00:02:00] there's a bow on it. It doesn't mean that, um, everything goes away. So I think it's a good reminder for all of us that, um, hard things are a part of our lives. Our lives go like this. They take twists and turns. Um, and so. Having that vulnerability to share, it really brings, um, a face to some of these issues. 

So I think what I hope that you guys hear from this is that while Sherry has experienced really hard things like abuse, addiction, um, abandonment, all of those things, it really gives a face to those hard issues. And I hope that that's something that everyone gets to see.  

Jonathan: Yeah.  

Rachel: So. We hope that you enjoy the story by Sherry, and we'll get right into it. 

So let's kind of start with a little bit about your story. Tell us about how old were you when you had your kids?  

Sherri (2): I had from my, I had my first baby when I was 17 years old. What was that like? You were still a baby. Uh, I dropped outta high school. Well, I had already [00:03:00] dropped outta high school before I had the first baby. 

Why'd you drop outta high school?  

Sherri: I was wasting my time in the teacher's time 'cause I would go in the front door and come out the back. Um, so I just went ahead and I decided that, um, I just wanted, I dropped out. You know, sometimes we do things, we make choices that are not good for us. So I made a choice to not to finish school. 

That's the wrong thing. 'cause at this point now I am trying to work on my GED.  

Rachel: Wow. Well we'll get there. Okay, so you're 17, you find yourself pregnant.  

Sherri: How was that 17? It was, I was a new mom. I didn't know what to do, but I thank God for my, uh, my mom, uh, my dad's wife. She was, um. A very supportive woman. She didn't have any kids, so she, my kids were her kids and she [00:04:00] was my mother. 

I raised my son, my oldest son, who was 42. Uh, then at the age of 19, I had another one. I had a little girl. Then at the age 17, 18, 17, 18. And 19. I had my last baby when I was 21.  

Rachel: Okay, so you have three kids?  

Sherri: I have two boys and one girl.  

Rachel: Okay. So you were a single mom?  

Sherri: I was a single mom, yes.  

Rachel: And what was that like? 

Sherri: I had support from my family, so I really didn't really know what being a single mom, because I had my family to support me and to help me. So. I really didn't know what a single being a single mom was until I moved away from my parents.  

Rachel: So why, why did you move away and when did you move away?  

Sherri: I was grown. 

I [00:05:00] felt that, you know, I had children and I should, my dad wanted me to learn responsibility.  

Rachel: Okay.  

Sherri: And by me staying at his h at, you know, staying with my parents, I was gonna never learn the responsibility.  

Rachel: So where'd you move to?  

Sherri: I got an apartment. I moved into a low income apartment, me and my three kids. 

Um, then I began to learn what parenthood was and  

Rachel: what was it.  

Sherri: Don't, instructions don't come with raising kids. I wish they  

Rachel: did. Me too. We both have young kids,  

Sherri: so I, you know, I had to learn anything I wanted to know. I called my mom, Hey, they're sick. What did I do? And she said, take 'em to the hospital. I come get you. 

So yes, I raised my kids. They were young. We lived in the low income apartments. Um, it was nice. Uh, I lived off of welfare. Um. [00:06:00] It was, it was, I worked, but I still lived off of welfare. It was, it was an experience. I, I'm not gonna say I didn't want kids, but at that moment I did not wanted to go to the Army. 

Rachel: Oh, you did?  

Sherri: Yeah, that was my thing. I wanted to go to the Army. Why'd you wanna  

Rachel: go into the army?  

Sherri: I, I don't know. I just, I, I wanted to go to the Army.  

Rachel: Like did you wanna travel? Did you want the structure?  

Sherri: I wanted the structure. Okay. I didn't want to go to the army. I mean, I wanted to go to the Army, but I couldn't go 'cause I was pregnant. 

And then I had another one and another one.  

Rachel: So were you ever with any of their dads? No. Okay.  

Sherri (2): They were married. Got it.  

Sherri: Okay.  

Sherri (2): So, you  

Sherri: know, I wasn't planning on having kids. When you are not protecting yourself, that's what happens. [00:07:00] So, but two other, my two sons dad are deceased. Um, my baby son never got to really know his dad because he died at, uh, when my son was, uh. 

A baby small. So he didn't get to, to really get to know his dad, my oldest son, he, um, he knew his dad, but it wasn't in his life. My daughter's father, he was never there. But you know, they knew they did, but they was never in their life. Yeah.  

Rachel: So you have your kids, single mom between then and now. How did you end up at Atlanta Mission? 

I know there's a lot. What are, 

Sherri: this [00:08:00] is how I ended up in Atlanta, Georgia.  

Rachel: Yeah. Tell me.  

Sherri: At a young age I experienced drugs. I, uh, started drinking, I started smoking marijuana. I, I started into, into heavy drugs.  

Rachel: Were you exposed to those at home?  

Sherri: No.  

Rachel: Just in the community that you were in?  

Sherri: I was the type of woman that I like to ex experience things. 

Um. So I had my children, um, I was, you know, on drugs. Um, I moved to Kentucky. I was in a very, very, very bad abusive relationship. So  

Rachel: what were your kids there too?  

Sherri: My kids Was there. Uh, I still lived in [00:09:00] Illinois and my kids was there and had my kids, and, um, I got away from the abuse, but I had already started to, in the, into the drugs because of the abuse. 

Tried to numb the abuse.  

Rachel: How did you get away?  

Sherri: I left Illinois and moved to Kentucky, and then when I moved to Kentucky, um. Okay. My biological mom woke up one morning and told me and my kids to get out. Um, she told us she only had enough room for her, her kids, and I told her that I am your child. I look just like you. 

So I ended up staying with a relative. Then from there I stayed with this guy. Then from there it was another abusive relationship. And then I really got to, I really indulged more and more into the drugs.  

Rachel: So were you doing the [00:10:00] drugs to numb the pain from the abuse?  

Sherri: I was molested at a early age. Um, repeatedly I was molested. 

Um, so I tried to. Block that out of my, my mind, you know? So, uh, I started to go more and more into drugs. Um, when I moved to Kentucky, um, I was, began to smoke, um, cocaine. So, um, I called, um. 

My parents and asked them to, would they take them? Um, one of my sons was, uh, showing out in school and, uh, they sent him away. They sent him to a, like a little home and place. So the only way that they could. Would let the kids come back [00:11:00] into my home if I gave them to my parents. So I gave my children, uh, to my parents, temporary custody to my parents at a, at they were young. 

Um, I did it outta love. Because I knew I was a sick person. So instead of the children family service taking them away, I'd rather see my parents have my children. Hmm. So then I started to get real deep into smoking cocaine.  

Rachel: Yeah. How did it make you feel to have to give them up?  

Sherri: It wasn't that I gave them up. 

I know that they had a better life.  

Rachel: You felt like it was a, it was the best survival tactic for, for them, it was the  

Sherri: best thing to do for them. Mm.  

Rachel: But that obviously like affected you emotionally.  

Sherri: Yes, it did. It, it, it, it messed with me emotionally because I should have been raising my children and not my [00:12:00] parents, but I had such lovely parents, um, that my kids didn't have to go into the system and the system didn't come and take 'em out my house. 

Mm. So that was, um. I did the right thing as a mother.  

Rachel: Yeah, for sure. I  

Sherri: did that for love.  

Rachel: That's a very courageous thing to have to do. Yeah. I can't imagine.  

Sherri: So when my kids got grown, I still spoke, but my mom raised them. They, uh, they wasn't happy with my lifestyle. They said some very cool things to me. 

But today. There speaks to me and it's amazing. It's beautiful. Regardless. When I was out there using drugs, my kids were, I always talked about my kids when I was getting high.  

Rachel: Yeah.  

Sherri: I would always talk. I got kids. They were like, you got kids? I'll be like, yes. I said, [00:13:00] I have kids. I said, um, they stay with my parents and I have kids. 

That was the best thing. To do because I was into drugs at that moment. Instead of letting them being in the system, I preferred for my parents to have them.  

Rachel: If you made it this far into the episode, you're likely feeling the weight of these stories unseen. Atlanta was created to reveal the raw and unfiltered realities faced by individuals in our city struggles with addiction, homelessness, and mental health. 

It's heavy, but don't stop. Now we're about to turn the page to something life changing. Hope is coming. When someone steps through our doors, they step into an opportunity to start fresh. The transformation you're about to hear wouldn't be possible without our incredible partners like the Justin Landis group. 

Whether you're buying or selling your home in metro Atlanta, their unwavering commitment to exceptional service and authentic relationships sets 'em apart. Their compassion and dedication to our community fuels stories just like these. A heartfelt thank you to [00:14:00] our partner and sponsor, Justin Landis Group, because of your generosity, these stories don't end here. 

Now let's dive back into the episode. Why do you think that you kept getting into relationships that hurt you?  

Sherri: I was looking for love. 

I thought I knew my dad loved me 'cause he raised me and my sister. But I felt that he loved my sister a little bit more than he loved me and I was looking for the love in all the wrong places. Mm. Uh, my dad used to tell me that, find a man that can help your kids and you. So that's how I got involved with the man, that, 

that abused me. Um, Valentine's Day is not my day. Uh, you know, I don't [00:15:00] care for it. 'cause that was the day that. I died.  

Rachel: Mm. Tell me a little bit more about that.  

Sherri: Me and my sister,  

Rachel: mm-hmm.  

Sherri: Me and her went out to a motorcycle club and um, 

I was having fun and they was like, okay, Sheri, here he come. And I'm just like, who? I said, these are all the people I went to school with. These are the people that I know. So he gave that look and I was like, oh Jesus. So when I got home, my sister called me and I said, I'll see you tomorrow and I love you. 

Um, I was intoxicated. Uh, I remember getting undressed. 

Hmm. 

And the only thing I can remember is[00:16:00]  

that I heard this swoosh sound. That's all I kept hearing. He was, um, whooping me with an extension cord. Um, that's all I heard. Uh, I don't know. After that, I do remember. Him walking behind me and he, um, he took the extension cord and wrapped it around my neck and hung me. I don't know how long that I was in the air dangling for my life. 

Um, I didn't know if to jump out this picture window or to stay there to take their abuse or. I didn't know, but all I know that I was fighting for my children. [00:17:00] That's what I was doing. I didn't know, I didn't know if to jump out the window, but I wanted my children not to. I didn't know what he would've done with my kids. 

Um, uh, he dropped me, um, he dropped me on the floor, um, when I came around. He, uh, was stomping me with steel toe boots and he was beating me in my face with, uh, bra knuckles. Um, he said some horrible things that I don't know if I could say on thing. So I was kind of foaming at the mouth and, you know, things got a little bad. 

So, um. He told me, he said, well, I'm gonna see what man is coming by here. He said, I'm about to go hide my car in the back. I was fumbling around, holding on to [00:18:00] walls. Um, I was, um, I, he had cut my circle. I mean, you know, my, I couldn't talk. Mm-hmm. Uh, I had started turning blue in the face. Um, so I still was kinda. 

Drowsy. So I was feeling around trying to get to the room where my kids was. When I got to that room where my children was, um, I was telling them to get up. I can remember just like today, like it's happening right now. I got my kids up out the bed and they was like, mom, mom, I got them up. I was not dressed. 

I got them up. It was 20 below zero. It was really cold that, that night on Valentine's Day. Um, I just told 'em to get up, you know, they didn't have no shoes. I told 'em it was okay, and [00:19:00] as we ran down the steps to go out the front door, my mind was. I was thinking he was gonna come through the back door. 

Mm-hmm. Because he had then moved the car to the back when this man came, when we got downstairs and he said simple words and he said, where you think you going? And when I looked up, there was this borough shotgun, and he had it. He pointed it at my children. Um, he, uh, he pointed it at my kids and he said, if you went out this door, he said, I'm gonna kill your kids. 

So I said, no, not my children. Don't hurt my kids. So he made us all sit down on a couch one by one. My [00:20:00] kids was sitting on. One on the loveseat, and me and him was sitting on the couch and he pointed the shotgun to my kids and he told my kids that he were, he was gonna kill us. He said, I'm gonna kill y'all first, then I'm gonna kill your mom, and then I'm gonna kill myself. 

I asked him to let my kids go. I said, whatever it is, just let my kids go. Don't hurt my children. They has nothing to do with this. So just please. I was begging. Blood was everywhere. I was begging for my life, but I was more begging for my kids' life. So, you know, he took the end of the double barrel shotgun. 

He hit me with it. In front of my kids. Uh, so he, he finally, I guess he finally, I kept begging and begging and begging for my kids' life. So he finally told my kids [00:21:00] that they can go to bed. Um, when we got up the steps, 

all I can remember is him dragging me from the bottom of my ankles, and he started to. It dragged me down the steps and my head was, um, hitting the steps. I, I, I remember this like today. It happened today. Um, so. I had to sleep next to him with this double barrel shotgun. If I had made one wrong move, um, he was gonna kill my kids, so I had to go to the bathroom. 

I was too nervous to go, so I ended up, um, urinating in the bathroom just so [00:22:00] he wouldn't, um, kill my kids. It was, uh, not a good feeling. I couldn't see my eyes was, um, shut together. Uh, my face was almost like a half of a pumpkin. I had whips, um, you know, deep cuts. I had 'em all over. I, I had a, the, um, I had the. 

The extension cord mark around my neck where he choked me real bad. So that morning when he got up and he went to work, I called the shelter for abusive women. And when the lady asked me to bring a picture of me before and she wanted to see what did I look like before the abuse. I got [00:23:00] off caught the boss. 

People was looking at me, you know, people were whispering. Um, but I, I could open my eyes a little bit, but I couldn't open them, like,  

Rachel: yeah,  

Sherri: completely open.  

Rachel: They were swollen shut, basically.  

Sherri: So when I got off and I knocked on the door. And, uh, the lady came through the door. I remember her screaming and she was she screaming  

Rachel: because of the way she looked? 

You looked.  

Sherri: She was screaming because the way that I looked, she, um, opened the door and she looked at me and she said, we have to take pictures. Um, I was young. I was like, maybe in my late. Twenties or early thirties. Um, she looked at me and she said, oh, wow, you're [00:24:00] beautiful. She asked me could I take my dress off, and I told her, no, I couldn't. 

And she said, why? I said, I can't. Mm-hmm. So when I took off my coat, she knew why. So they had to cut the dress off. Uh, she went to hollering and screaming some more and she said, we have to call the police.  

Rachel: Mm-hmm.  

Sherri: And I begged her not to. I said, he has a good job. Um, he has a daughter and I don't want to see him to go to prison. 

So he said, yes. 'cause that's where he is going for attempted murder. So I, um,  

Rachel: why did you not want, were you thinking about his daughter 

Sherri: at that moment? I don't know what I was,  

Rachel: I mean, it sounds like you're such like being a mom is so [00:25:00] important to you, and so like I could see that connection of him having a daughter may have,  

Sherri: yes. He had a daughter, so I, Renee, Renee didn't want him to. To go to jail.  

Rachel: Yeah. Uh,  

Sherri: so only thing I wanted him to do was to be removed from my home. 

Rachel: Hmm.  

Sherri: Um, they took pictures. The police came, uh, they served him papers at work. Um, I, uh, he came in and he was taking stuff that he put in my house that he bought mostly for my kids. And I said, well, you're gonna take the tv, you're gonna take the things from my, from the kids. And he said, yeah. He said, I put it, he said, I bought it and I'm gonna take it. 

So I had, he had, I had said something real jazzy out the way the police, it was about eight of them 'cause he was a tall, stocky guy. And he took my head and bashed it up against the [00:26:00] wall and they locked him up. And that was the last time I seen him then, so he kept coming and kept coming. So I ended up moving to Kentucky and then I met someone else that liked to drown me in Kentucky. 

Rachel: So you just continued the cycle?  

Sherri: I would guess. I kept continue, uh, attracting, uh, the abusive. If it wasn't physically, it was mentally and emotionally, mentally. Abuse can really take you into a dark, deep depression where you really don't want to go because you feel what a man says to you. You know, you gonna, you, you, you accept it, you take it, you, at that time, I was chunky, so I would, I would accept what. 

The men would say so, but at that point, by me being a heavyset woman, I didn't [00:27:00] think that I could get a wonder. I mean a nice man. So I always attracted the abusive kind. So then I stayed away for a while from abusive men. And then when I moved to Kentucky, I moved to Lexington, Kentucky, and then I met another man, wasn't who he said he was. 

So we decided to pack up. We wanted a better life for us. Um, but when it got, when we got here to, when I got here to Georgia. 

I really got more deep into smoking crack because I was homeless. I was in the street, didn't know where I was going, didn't know where I was going to eat, didn't have a place to use the bathroom, didn't have a place to take a [00:28:00] bath. I was sleeping in the truck, so I thought things was gonna be a little different. 

But there wasn't. They wasn't. So after he got locked up, I continued to stay in the streets, sleeping in my truck, um, a doon more into smoking, getting high.  

Rachel: Thank you for sharing all that. I know that's really hard to relive, so thank you for Oh no. Allowing us to hear that.  

Sherri: I'll never forget that. That's something that will never go away. 

Yeah. It will never go away.  

Jonathan: Yeah. And I just wanna say thank you too. It was You're welcome. Um, anytime someone shares a story, it's a gift. Yeah. It, and your story is a very special gift. Thank you. That we can hold.  

Rachel: Yeah.  

Jonathan: Um. So I'm just, that's  

Rachel: so nice.  

Jonathan: So honored to be sitting here listening.  

Rachel: Yeah. [00:29:00]  

Jonathan: Thank you. 

Rachel: Thank you guys for listening to Sherry's story. I know that was a lot. There's a lot to process. There's a lot to hear. We'd love for you guys to join us next time as we share the second part of Sherry's story.  

Tensley: Thank you so much for listening and engaging with these challenging yet vital conversations about mental health. 

Addiction, homelessness and trauma in our city. Facing these issues head on is how we ignite real transformation in Atlanta. Thank you to our seasoned sponsor, the Scott Pryor Law Group. The transformation you've heard wouldn't be possible without incredible partners like the Scott Pryor Law Group, personal injury and accident attorneys, their compassion and dedication to our community. 

Fuel stories of transformation just like these. If you are injured in a semi-truck or car accident, call the Scott Pryor Law Group. As a US Marine, we fight and win for you. Our clients are family for life. We handle all types of injuries. You focus on healing and we handle the rest. Now, if today's episode inspired you to take the next step, we would love to invite you to join the [00:30:00] work that God is doing here. 

There are two really impactful ways for you to get involved. First, you can give financially to help us continue the work you heard about today. Second, you can volunteer your time by serving at one of our campuses. You can find all the ways to give and get involved@atlantamission.org. Thank you again for being part of this journey. 

Please join us next time as we uncover more powerful stories of hope and transformation.